Werewolf Syndrome

Some of the big cliches in life are things such as "this too shall pass", and "the only thing that is for certain in life is that it will change". Stuff like that. Phrases that bring both comfort and sadness. We are all united in these things.

I can't help but feel like CF magnifies this phenomenon for better and for worse. It jerks you around like a rickety roller coaster. One moment you feel great.. on top of the world. The next, on what feels like deaths door with no ambition to live life because every tightly-bound breath is just too damn hard. This isn't even the problem really. Its that its so unbelievably unpredictable. You don't know if you have hours, days or months before the next bad or good spell. I feel like a werewolf trying to cram human activities in before the next full moon.

I ran headfirst into a good spell after my disappointing visit to the transplant hospital. I'm not above considering that hearing I'm "too healthy x 2" for listing nested little confidence eggs in my brain and have led to this slight improvement on my energy and ability to do things. In fact, I think THAT coupled with seeing my 0.85 litre blow at that hospital was great for my ego, whether any of it was true or not. On top of this, I've been going through a little smoothie obsession/indulgence since I walked past the booster juice in the hospital cafeteria and regretted not stopping. Ive had a different smoothie with various herbal boosters (eg ginseng, echinacea) here at home every single day since. "Fruit improves ones energy level??? Now thats a shocker"--Mrs Heart of the Matta, BaSCN... the "N" stands for Nutrition

All I know, is I hope whatever combination of real/imaginary events led to how I am currently doing will have a cumulative effect on my health for the next CF clinic at my regular hospital so that I may have the energy to argue about the other jerking around I experienced over transplant assessment.