So many ends in this beginning...

April is my favourite month. Full of beginnings of spring, everything beautiful ahead. As time passes I've learned to appreciate fall for its similarity to spring despite its more dismal direction into winter. April, however, will always be my favourite because of my 4 university years when school wrapped up so nicely in the same month that the weather got so enjoyable. I loved studying outside during that time.

Just as I've been enjoying spring's arrival this year, all my beloved blogs have ended. Well not all, but definetly some of my faves. I like the idea of my friends ending their blogs as the "story" they meant to tell comes to a natural close (http://natandmarty.blogspot.com) . Moving forward in growth makes sense and is beautiful, though I'll miss the joy it brings to my day to check how my friends are doing.

Timing so had it, that another of my favourite blogs ended today for a different reason. Eva Markvoort of http://65redroses.blogspot.com passed away after her long battle with Cystic Fibrosis, and most recently, chronic organ rejection. We all hoped for a different ending. It seemed excessively unfair that she should get an extra 6 weeks of unexpected hope for nothing. With her unfailing love for life and people, however, I know in my heart that 'nothing' is far from what those 6 weeks meant to her and her family. I think a part of me wanted to see her receive her miracle to add hope to my own expected future. I feel selfish saying it aloud, but its the truth. I wish none of us had to suffer the way we do. Breathe easy, Eva, I will go back and read your blog for inspiration throughout my journey.

Love love love...

Niagara Falls

Two weeks feels too long to be away from the blog, and yet, its never good to force it on account of feelings of obligation. My husband had the past week off, so we've spent some time away, as well as I've had less time "to kill". I'll never learn my lesson though it seems. Away means less hunching over my computer, and therefore less back and neck pain. It means more exercise (including hotel swimming! =) ), and therefore more coughing and feeling healthier (if only so very very slightly). I was only officially gone for 2 and a half days, and yet, a virtual search party broke out on facebook when I didn't respond to my private messages. Not something to be proud of, though the caring felt good.

On the upside, I was actually more adherent to taking care of myself while away than when I'm here. Usually its physio that slips while away, but this time, not only did I do it, but I did it MORE. Perhaps because I got freaked out how hard it seemed walking any further than 50 feet on flat ground.. perhaps.. No matter what positive thoughts these sort of experiences bring, I can't help but taste the bitterness of resentment as well during these moments. The injustice that any other 27 year old, or 45 year old for that matter, can sit on the couch for weeks and still be able to go out and walk and jog with relative ease, not losing so much of their functionality. Poisonous thoughts... sigh.. well back to business I guess. Below, a picture of our hotel room.

Sleepy

I've been really lethargic lately, and haven't felt much like blogging.. I presume because of Cipro 750mg and its side effects? hopefully?... and, as I considered today, perhaps that I'm not drinking enough to go along with such a drug (because I tend to be most tired in the first few hours of being awake.. when I tend to not drink like.. at all *blush*). I have clinic tomorrow again, so we'll see how that goes.

In the meantime, you may remember one of my first blog posts about wanting to make kleenex box couches to raise money for CF/surrogacy. Well, my mom and I had a surge of making tons of them but haven't made any for quite some time now. My mom sent one to Eva Markvoort recently (65redroses.livejournal.com) along with a letter from her and my dad. They also noticed it in the pics on her blog yesterday! Thanks Eva! It made us feel really good that you like it and reminds me (once again) to fight as hard as you do everyday, keep my head up, and LOVE LOVE LOVE.