This year I hope to first and foremost maintain and improve my health routine
Upgrade my social life by depending less on the internet and more on the phone (or better)
To achieve some new and noteworthy things
To "finish" our home and get new carpet and paint the walls
To get Bauer out of his puppy quirks, and fully trained
And always to love more and live more!
Happy New Years 2010! To a new decade! *cheers*
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Sunday, December 20, 2009
Lung function and driving
Hi guys,
Been thinking about a good topic lately. I've noticed the past year or so I've felt less comfortable driving. Initially I thought it was because I had some really weird heart palpitations/weakness thing that happened over the course of a few months just over a year ago. It scared me alot, appeared and disappeared in an instant, and was diagnosed through a holter and echocardiogram as a bit of SVT (Superventricular Tachycardia--apparently common with lower lung function in CF). Long story short, it was a scary experience and I figured I was just jittery because it first appeared while driving.
Recently at clinic I noticed a study posted on the wall regarding driving and lung function and how senses are genuinely down with borderline oxygen status etc. I wish I had asked for a copy but I will look into it next time. I've been thinking about this because not only do I absolutely not feel safe driving very far anymore, but I act like an 80 year old woman sitting beside my husband as HE drives. I do all of it. Clutching the armrests as we turn/stop, complaining, exclaiming "brakes!" when we're approaching someone a little fast etc etc. It drives ME nuts let alone him. It made me realize that when people are as annoying as me when someone else is driving, the reason must be that we are looking through the eyes of ourselves driving. If WE don't feel comfortable breaking at that close distance or whatnot, we get nervous and react.
Anyways, I guess this is why its important to stop driving when you feel its necessary. And actually, two and a half years ago I fainted after a coughing fit (at home, not in a car..) and was told that if that happened even one more time, they do revoke your license. It hasn't happened, but I think these things all tie together. I like to think that things like this reverse themselves post-tx. For now, its short distances only for me.
Been thinking about a good topic lately. I've noticed the past year or so I've felt less comfortable driving. Initially I thought it was because I had some really weird heart palpitations/weakness thing that happened over the course of a few months just over a year ago. It scared me alot, appeared and disappeared in an instant, and was diagnosed through a holter and echocardiogram as a bit of SVT (Superventricular Tachycardia--apparently common with lower lung function in CF). Long story short, it was a scary experience and I figured I was just jittery because it first appeared while driving.
Recently at clinic I noticed a study posted on the wall regarding driving and lung function and how senses are genuinely down with borderline oxygen status etc. I wish I had asked for a copy but I will look into it next time. I've been thinking about this because not only do I absolutely not feel safe driving very far anymore, but I act like an 80 year old woman sitting beside my husband as HE drives. I do all of it. Clutching the armrests as we turn/stop, complaining, exclaiming "brakes!" when we're approaching someone a little fast etc etc. It drives ME nuts let alone him. It made me realize that when people are as annoying as me when someone else is driving, the reason must be that we are looking through the eyes of ourselves driving. If WE don't feel comfortable breaking at that close distance or whatnot, we get nervous and react.
Anyways, I guess this is why its important to stop driving when you feel its necessary. And actually, two and a half years ago I fainted after a coughing fit (at home, not in a car..) and was told that if that happened even one more time, they do revoke your license. It hasn't happened, but I think these things all tie together. I like to think that things like this reverse themselves post-tx. For now, its short distances only for me.
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Travel and lung function
I'm slipping into the Christmas season with everyone else lately. Less thinking about "big" things really. It's good. You can only do that so much if you want to stay sane.
Lately I've been thinking about the upcoming winter, and how going away somewhere warm would be super great. We did it last year and loved it, though we didn't go without drama and "adventure" and spent most of our time driving. I've grown less and less fond of planes, and now with my uber-borderline oxygen levels I can honestly say I hate it. Unfortunately everything we want to do pretty much is in, or leaves from Florida.
We last flew on our honeymoon and I asked the docs what they thought about my oxygen status and flight. I was given the A-okay since at rest I was sitting at around 94. I happened to bring along my oximeter on the plane, and when I was feeling anxious I got Mike to look at the number. He wouldn't let me know what it was until we landed, which in retrospect was good but silly because we still had to fly home a week later. It turns out I was very low (85) for much of the flight, and my oximeter tends to be more generous than the ones at the hospital... scary, right? Anyways, I hope I can climb the 80 mL back to my baseline lung function again soon and get another blood gas done and comfortably travel again soon as well. If anyone is still reading this blog, I'd appreciate any travel stories/tips/advice with low lung function.
On another note, being Christmas time I thought I might be selling my little kleenex box sofas like wildfire, but no. Then again, I haven't really advertised too too much so I haven't lost hope. For now we've been focusing on making them as gifts for family etc for this christmas season and other recent events.
My workout/physio schedule is all over the map in intensity. I still don't get why I can't strictly follow it for more than a month at a time. I think its the complete lack of results. Just once I'd like to work hard for a month, and then see even marginal improvement at clinic. To be fair, although my recent lung function was terrible as is the pattern of late, my oxygen saturation was 95/96 at rest which maybe can be credited to the extra exercise... I don't know.
That's about it for now.. Don't forget to check out my sisters weight-loss blog at http://gaininggougeon.blogspot.com
Lately I've been thinking about the upcoming winter, and how going away somewhere warm would be super great. We did it last year and loved it, though we didn't go without drama and "adventure" and spent most of our time driving. I've grown less and less fond of planes, and now with my uber-borderline oxygen levels I can honestly say I hate it. Unfortunately everything we want to do pretty much is in, or leaves from Florida.
We last flew on our honeymoon and I asked the docs what they thought about my oxygen status and flight. I was given the A-okay since at rest I was sitting at around 94. I happened to bring along my oximeter on the plane, and when I was feeling anxious I got Mike to look at the number. He wouldn't let me know what it was until we landed, which in retrospect was good but silly because we still had to fly home a week later. It turns out I was very low (85) for much of the flight, and my oximeter tends to be more generous than the ones at the hospital... scary, right? Anyways, I hope I can climb the 80 mL back to my baseline lung function again soon and get another blood gas done and comfortably travel again soon as well. If anyone is still reading this blog, I'd appreciate any travel stories/tips/advice with low lung function.
On another note, being Christmas time I thought I might be selling my little kleenex box sofas like wildfire, but no. Then again, I haven't really advertised too too much so I haven't lost hope. For now we've been focusing on making them as gifts for family etc for this christmas season and other recent events.
My workout/physio schedule is all over the map in intensity. I still don't get why I can't strictly follow it for more than a month at a time. I think its the complete lack of results. Just once I'd like to work hard for a month, and then see even marginal improvement at clinic. To be fair, although my recent lung function was terrible as is the pattern of late, my oxygen saturation was 95/96 at rest which maybe can be credited to the extra exercise... I don't know.
That's about it for now.. Don't forget to check out my sisters weight-loss blog at http://gaininggougeon.blogspot.com
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Opening a window
So the CF world doesn't want to stay kind for more than a few weeks at a time and its draining (I had even partially written this post a week ago and today there has been new tragedy--ill get to that). I've made some big decisions lately that will require me to re-shift my focus and find joy and inspiration in new things. That scares me because in a way, I feel I've never been in this position before. I'm being really cryptic, so let me explain.
All my life I feel like fate has handed me a "backup" for every loss I've had to endure. Maybe backup isn't the right word. But it is essentially equivalent to the saying "When God closes a door, he opens a window". Two strong examples stand out in my mind. I have vacationed at the same summer lodge for the past 16 or so years with my family. Same July week, same friendly faces around me each year there. As a teen, I loved it so much that when we came home, I once made a shrine to the place on my bedroom door. Pictures, cut-outs, souveniers, you name it.
I got my first full-time job in July 2005. Lucky for me, they allowed me to start work the week after this vacation. The following year, I was still the new guy so I was told my week was taken, and I was crushed. However, 2 months before this I had started dating the man who would eventually become my husband. His presence in my life that week eased my pain and I got through it, when nothing else would have worked. The following year, I was able to go again.
The next time this phenomenon occured was when I was hospitalized for 6 weeks in winter 2008. I had to stop working, and as my time off progressed, I realized that this was going to need to be forever. I mourned my coworkers and life-purpose at first. But, during that winter stay, I met a handful of CF friends and made memories that changed my life. I've mentioned this before. Recently, I've made the decision to 100% recognize that I need to control what I can and no longer see my CF friends in person. It's been a long road to this point, and yet one I feel I had to travel to get here.
Since I made this choice myself, and "closed" the proverbial door.. I've also decided that its up to me to help open the window. Despite how little I really see my CF friends (this entire year has seen 6 occasions--and 3 of those were funerals and the CF walk), I feel I rely on it alot for getting through the tough times. I could go on forever about this (I won't because its a very sore subject--beware commenters), but what I'm really looking for is a new angle again. One step I have taken is to reunite (reach out) to an old friend with whom I parted ways with in an angry way about 3 years ago. It's gone well so far, and I hope to dream up even more new ideas to get me through the hardest part of this life change.
My mind is all over the place, but I'd also like to thank my sister for starting a weight-loss blog and renewing my inspiration to continue my own blog. Please feel free to visit her over at http://gaininggougeon.blogspot.com and offer your support.
Finally, I'd like to shout out to my late friend Rolly, who passed away early this morning. He was the first CF friend I ever met and spent real time with. He made my first admission (ever) much more bearable, and helped ease my serious and irrational fears of iv's etc by singing and talking to me in my room till 2am at night while in there in December 2005. Rest in Peace, buddy.
All my life I feel like fate has handed me a "backup" for every loss I've had to endure. Maybe backup isn't the right word. But it is essentially equivalent to the saying "When God closes a door, he opens a window". Two strong examples stand out in my mind. I have vacationed at the same summer lodge for the past 16 or so years with my family. Same July week, same friendly faces around me each year there. As a teen, I loved it so much that when we came home, I once made a shrine to the place on my bedroom door. Pictures, cut-outs, souveniers, you name it.
I got my first full-time job in July 2005. Lucky for me, they allowed me to start work the week after this vacation. The following year, I was still the new guy so I was told my week was taken, and I was crushed. However, 2 months before this I had started dating the man who would eventually become my husband. His presence in my life that week eased my pain and I got through it, when nothing else would have worked. The following year, I was able to go again.
The next time this phenomenon occured was when I was hospitalized for 6 weeks in winter 2008. I had to stop working, and as my time off progressed, I realized that this was going to need to be forever. I mourned my coworkers and life-purpose at first. But, during that winter stay, I met a handful of CF friends and made memories that changed my life. I've mentioned this before. Recently, I've made the decision to 100% recognize that I need to control what I can and no longer see my CF friends in person. It's been a long road to this point, and yet one I feel I had to travel to get here.
Since I made this choice myself, and "closed" the proverbial door.. I've also decided that its up to me to help open the window. Despite how little I really see my CF friends (this entire year has seen 6 occasions--and 3 of those were funerals and the CF walk), I feel I rely on it alot for getting through the tough times. I could go on forever about this (I won't because its a very sore subject--beware commenters), but what I'm really looking for is a new angle again. One step I have taken is to reunite (reach out) to an old friend with whom I parted ways with in an angry way about 3 years ago. It's gone well so far, and I hope to dream up even more new ideas to get me through the hardest part of this life change.
My mind is all over the place, but I'd also like to thank my sister for starting a weight-loss blog and renewing my inspiration to continue my own blog. Please feel free to visit her over at http://gaininggougeon.blogspot.com and offer your support.
Finally, I'd like to shout out to my late friend Rolly, who passed away early this morning. He was the first CF friend I ever met and spent real time with. He made my first admission (ever) much more bearable, and helped ease my serious and irrational fears of iv's etc by singing and talking to me in my room till 2am at night while in there in December 2005. Rest in Peace, buddy.
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