31

I resisted the urge to write "dead by thirty one" since im pretty sure thats a band that's popular right now. Maybe they aren't popular.. or maybe its a song... what do I know.. I'm friggin 31 (tomorrow).

Last year I was pumped about my birthday and I fear it may be the last time I'll ever feel that way. I can't picture a situation where I'll be excited for it again. I'm not saying that I'm dreading it.. I also can't see myself ever being dejected about being "old".. since being old is something that's such a gift. Shoutout to my sparkly-winged angel Carla for cementing that one in my soul.

Ive had a rough week. It went down kind of predictably I guess.. the last motivation I felt being Saturday where I bounced around and announced to Mike that he should ask me for anything (keep your thoughts clean readers) because I was "in a great mood". I made a bunch of different foods that day.. it was fun. Sunday came.. and the clouds rolled in in my mind. Sunday was the CF walk, which I again didn't attend. I don't miss anything particular about being at the zoo.. in fact its downright repetitive and busy. It just kickstarted a thought process that hasn't ceased. I think it had a few other components to it too... such as how on Friday night I went to my sisterinlaws Stag n Doe and had my first alcoholic drink in a year and got a taste of youth and fun again.. and kept up with shouting over the loud music sensationally well, I might add.

Anyhow.. Id like to think that I'm starting a new week and year tomorrow.. the physical rain clouds and muggy weather needs to take a break.. I need a good massage.. and some pampering (my gift from my sis in law is gonna be a pedicure) and to get over myself before my TGH appointment. It felt like eternity from my last St.Mikes visit to this TGH one.. I had so much to experience in between.. one thing being my first experience of a pregnancy ultrasound (cause those echocardiograms just aren't as memorable). Turned out, however, that while the ultrasound was very moving, especailly at first, that sis and I were blessed with a newbie of a technician, and it was so poorly done that she has to have it redone.. and we didn't even find out the gender of baby G. Boo! Bad week all over. Have a drink and a dance for me tomorrow if you are so inclined.. celebrate living :)