No, not me. Well technically I took one puff of one cigarette once in my life. I was 19 I think. It was a statement of rebellion, and being the overly-mature-but-says-too-much person I've always been, I stated it as such right before having my little experience. Impressing, I'm sure, the genuine teenage smokers I was surrounded by at my work Christmas party. Not.
I had a similar experience today when I had the opportunity to hold a family member's almost-full cigarette package in my hand and examine it closely without interuption. I noticed all the warnings and all the stats all over the box? pack? carton? If I were a smoker it would probably irritate me that I'm meant to feel so bad about something I either A. choose to do despite knowing the risks (everyone does, lets face it) or B. Would like to quit but am struggling with the process. In neither case does it make sense to make people feel bad about themselves right there on the container in my opinion. If it worked, it would be a different story.
I also was marvelling at how smooth and pleasing the container is to my hand. The cigarettes neatly packed in fancy-ish looking silver paper. It was like looking at a unicorn or.. a hut in Africa. The kind of awe thats not envious nor... the opposite of envious , just the pure and simple awe of a world that isn't yours. It's how I felt when I used to watch Paris Hilton's The Simple Life show. Kind of like.. those girls are so petty to an extreme that doesn't feel possible with the responsibility of CF on my shoulders. I think thats why I loved that show.
This smoking family member brings me what feels like even MORE responsibility too. Knowing the struggles of lung disease, I feel an even greater debt to convince people to quit smoking. The problem is, I don't know whats appropriate for how hard to push. I DO know that there is no downside to the person quitting, and the only risk is our relationship perhaps. Maybe if I had not been forced to sell cigarettes for 3 years when I worked at a grocery store I wouldn't have burnt out all my passion with regards to deterring people. I had to suppress it then. No one wants their cashier bashing their lifestyle choices. You may just as well hammer them with "oooh.. hamburgers again, Miss Smith?" or "Didn't you buy a jumbo pack of condoms LAST week when you were with that nice blonde girl, Mr. Jones?". It just doesn't go over well.
I only hope that I can start coming up with some ideas to help people I love avoid my own fate or worse.
You can tell them about all the people at TGH waiting for lungs (for years and years may I add) who were once smokers and have lived to see the consequences that are listed on the packages. Could you imagine going through what you are now, and knowing it could have all been prevented. Man oh man.
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